Click For Hope

Bipolar Disorder | Jenn

Clickforhope, Depression, Bipolar DisorderJasmine LopezComment

Please share your story:

 For a little over than 20 years I have struggled with depression, self harm and suicidal tendencies to name a few. I have survived the isolation and shame. It was only in my adulthood that I was officially diagnosed with being Bipolar. As a teen I was hospitalized for observation due to attempts on my life but nothing really came of that. I just learned to internalize more and more. One can only do so much internalizing before it starts to overflow. How I survived my teens and 20's is beyond me, I honestly never thought I would live past 13, let alone approach my 32nd year on this earth. 

Everyday that I draw breath is a FIGHT, I choose to keep fighting. I don't always understand why I struggle so deeply, but through this LONG JOURNEY I have continually encountered God's Grace and PERFECT LOVE. I was a terrified lonely 12 year old GIRL when I first cried out to Him at 14. He sent me a dear friend that spoke GOD's love into my SOUL. 

One thing that is constant, is my TRUE NORTH. GOD has such a love for me that HE is walking this JOURNEY with me. HE already knows what is in store but nevertheless he accompanies me on this journey as I discover what it means to see myself through HIS eyes. Some days are easier than others and some days I allow myself to be identified by how others see me or label me.  Then there are the days that the chatter all around and especially within me is silenced and I only hear God and His sweet whisperings into my heart and soul.

How has your story shaped you into who you are today?:

 I have discovered that I am truly stronger than I had ever imagined, I AM A FIGHTER, and I definitely have a purpose. Though I may not know the specifics, I truly believe God has plans for me. HE loves me so much that he refuses to let me give up. I am still being shaped and molded. There have been many times where I have had been broken own, to then be built up again. It is a painful process but I am learning to not fear an unknown future to a Known GOD.

Why were you compelled to share your story?: 

There have been many times I have felt like I am alone in my struggles, and fears. I have felt like there was no one on earth that could possibly comprehend what I struggle with behind this smile of mine. I have come to learn that there is strength in sharing one's story. Even if there are people out there that won't understand or even try. There is power in SPEAKING UP. There is at least one person out there that might need to hear my story, even if it is STILL BEING WRITTEN. Everyone's journey is different and God can use ANYONE, we are here to manifest the GLORY of GOD that is within us, and I am no exception. If my journey can reach even just ONE person and encourage them then why wouldn't I share it for that ONE!?

What encouraging words would you give to someone who shares a similar story? : 

God doesn't give us a timeline throughout our struggles, but He always promises to come through. So don't give up. Everyone's journey is different and we all have to walk it out. Surround yourself by people who will speak LIFE into you, lift you up in prayer. Don't allow the labels to define you or the stigma of such labels to confine you. So your brain works a little differently and you feel things a bit more intensely. YOU still have PURPOSE!